A Parent's Puberty Glossary: Plain-English Words to Use With Your Daughter

Half the battle of the puberty years is vocabulary. Many of us grew up in homes where the real words were whispered, swapped for euphemisms, or never said at all — so when our daughters ask, "What's a hormone?" or "What does ovulation mean?", we can find ourselves reaching for words we've never actually said out loud.

This glossary is here to fix that. For each term, you'll find a plain-English meaning you can borrow word-for-word. Read it yourself, leave it open on the kitchen table, or use it to brush up before a chat — whatever gets the words flowing.

Why do the words we use matter so much?

Because words carry attitudes. A girl who grows up hearing accurate, matter-of-fact language learns that her body is normal and speakable; a girl who only hears mumbled euphemisms learns that her body is embarrassing. Correct words also keep her safe — a child who can name her body clearly can describe pain accurately to a doctor and report anything inappropriate without confusion. We've written more about this in why using the correct words for her body matters.

What words describe the changes she'll notice first?

Puberty — the years when a child's body gradually changes into an adult's body. Not one event, but a slow sequence that unfolds over several years.

Hormones — chemical messengers made by the body that travel in the blood and tell different parts what to do. "Tiny text messages your body sends itself" works well for younger girls; our guide to explaining hormones goes deeper.

Oestrogen (say "EE-struh-jen") — the main hormone behind girls' puberty. It kicks off breast growth, the growth spurt and, eventually, periods.

Breast buds — the small, sometimes tender bumps under the nipples that are usually the very first sign of puberty. One side often starts before the other, which is completely normal.

Growth spurt — a stretch of noticeably faster growing, usually early in puberty for girls. New shoe sizes first, height next.

Discharge — a small amount of white or clearish fluid from the vagina. It's the body's way of keeping itself clean and healthy, and it usually appears in the months before a first period — a useful heads-up, not a problem.

Which period words does she need to know?

Period (menstruation) — the few days each cycle when the lining of the uterus leaves the body through the vagina as blood. "Menstruation" is the formal word; "period" is fine for everyday use.

Menstrual cycle — the whole repeating loop from the first day of one period to the first day of the next. Often quoted as 28 days, but longer, shorter and irregular cycles are very common in the first couple of years.

Uterus (womb) — the stretchy, pear-sized organ where a baby can grow in adulthood. Each cycle it builds a soft lining; the period is that lining leaving when it isn't needed.

Ovaries and ovulation — the ovaries are two small organs that store eggs; ovulation is when one egg is released, roughly mid-cycle. Early teen cycles often happen without regular ovulation, which is one reason they're irregular at first.

Vulva and vagina — two words often mixed up. The vulva is the outside area; the vagina is the inside passage. Using both correctly is worth the tiny effort — doctors will, and she should be able to.

PMS (premenstrual syndrome) — the cluster of symptoms some people get in the days before a period: moodiness, sore breasts, bloating, tiredness. Real, hormonal, and it passes.

These are exactly the words woven through the When She Blooms daughter guide, so a girl who's read it will recognise them — and a parent reading the parent guide alongside will be using the same ones. Reading matching books is the easiest shortcut to a shared vocabulary; the parent–daughter set pairs them for exactly that reason.

What about the words she hears in the playground?

She'll come home with slang — "time of the month", "on the blob", and newer coinages that change by the term. You don't need to ban slang; just make sure it sits on top of real understanding rather than replacing it. A light touch works: "People say all sorts — the actual word is period, and you can always use it with me." When slang smuggles in a myth (that periods are dirty, that everyone can smell them, that you can't swim), correct the idea rather than policing the word. Our period myths vs facts guide covers the classics.

How do you build these words into everyday chat?

Little and often beats a vocabulary test. Use the words casually in passing — "I'll grab pads, we're low" — so they lose their charge. Answer the question she asked with the real word, once, without fanfare. If she giggles, let her; laughing at a new word once or twice is how kids defuse it. And if you stumble or default to a childhood euphemism, just correct yourself out loud — modelling that it's fine to get it wrong and try again is its own lesson.

Frequently asked questions

What age should my daughter know words like vulva and vagina?

From as early as she's learning names for any body parts — knee, elbow, vulva. If that ship has sailed, the next best time is now: introduce correct words naturally during puberty conversations, well before her first period.

Is it OK to use pet names for body parts?

Affectionate family words aren't harmful in themselves — the problem is when they're the only words she knows. Make sure she also knows the correct terms and that they're welcome at home, so she can be precise with doctors and clear about her boundaries.

How do I correct a word she's learned wrong without embarrassing her?

Echo, don't scold. If she says "my vagina is itchy" but means the outside, reply using the right word — "Your vulva? Let's sort that out" — and move on. She absorbs the correction without a spotlight on the mistake.

Where can she look words up herself?

A good puberty book beats a search engine: it's accurate, age-appropriate and has no comment section. Keep one on her shelf for private reading — if you're unsure which format suits her, our two-minute quiz will point you to the right one.